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It May Be Trauma If You Experienced….

June 4, 2022

Trigger Warning: This post discusses trauma.


A history of regular parental alcohol or drug use;

A history of a parent with a mental illness;

Having been hit as a child;

Yelling/screaming, name calling between persons in the home;

A cold war between the parents that create ongoing tension lasting days at a time;

Hitting between parents;

Things thrown, broken, fists through walls, doors slammed;

Parental separation(s);

A parent having an affair;

Being bullied;

Multiple moves;

Economic hardship;

Serious illness or death.

The above is just a partial list that can provide for one’s trauma history whether realized or not.

Like second and smoke, exposure to these experiences directly or indirectly can create trauma.

These experiences can lead to a desensitization to intense emotions and circumstances thus in a sense, normalizing them.

These experiences can create a sense of having to tolerate or fix matters far beyond one’s control.

A history of any of these experiences can lead one to remain in a relationship that does not meet their needs and/or is not safe.

A history of any of these experiences can lead to difficulties with depression and/or anxiety as well as other mental/emotional disorders.

A history of these experiences can contribute to drug or alcohol abuse.

A history of these experiences can skew one’s parenting to be harsh or permissive (and sometimes both!)

If any of this describes you, please consider counseling to explore and address issues arising.

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I am Gary Direnfeld and I am a social worker. Check out all my services and then call me if you need help with a personal issue, mental health concern, child behavior or relationship, divorce or separation issue or even help growing your practice. I am available in person and by video conferencing.

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW for counseling and support – to build your successful practice

Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, former parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Georgina Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America. He consults to mental health professionals as well as to mediators and collaborative law professionals about good practice as well as building their practice.

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