Therapy Training…. It was intense.

In my training as a family therapist in the 1980s, we used to have a team of colleagues observing our therapy sessions from behind a one-way mirror. The sessions would also be videotaped.

Beside the therapist was a phone that served as a direct line to the people behind the mirror.

At any point during the session anyone could call the therapist as they were meeting with the family.

Calĺs would direct the therapist, particularly if the therapist missed something that should be addressed.

The therapist could be given remarkably direct instructions on what to say, how to say it and even about body posture while delivering the information or questions.

This was our normal and as un-normal as it would be for the family, it was amazing how they would settle into the situation and simply engage with the therapist.

I had hundreds of hours of that training. And then of course there were those videotapes.

In supervision with the manager we would review those tapes and discuss the questions asked, again the body posture, and also facial expressions. Those would all be examined in the context of the families reaction.

The training was so intense. The scrutiny and the feedback covered everything. Nothing was missed. I had to account for every word spoken as well as every movement.

Now, when I sit in front of people, I tend to notice so much.

It could be a glance, a twitch, a finger tap, a breath, an inflection. At the same time I am aware of my posture, gaze, facial expressions.

The training is built upon by practice. I started that training in 1984. I have been practicing since.

At this pont in my life, it’s just part of who I am.

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She spoke. When the content was distressing, he leaned close. Periodically he placed his hand on her shoulder when she was particularly upset. At all times she appeared comforted by his gestures. This was evidenced by her lowering of her shoulders and relaxing of breath. At no time did he interrupt and she was able to complete her information sharing. Upon finishing, she turned her head towards him and then tilted it slightly to him. She smiled.

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The lad, six years of age, played easily with some blocks while I met with his mother. When his father entered the room the lad shifted to seat himself so he could see both parents. His play was more tentative as his gaze shifted between his parents. The lad’s breathing was more shallow. When mom spoke, dad was quick to talk over her. It was only several minutes before the lad was seated in her lap and between her and his father.

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I loved that training. Behavior speaks.

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I am Gary Direnfeld and I am a social worker. Check out all my services and then call me if you need help with a personal issue, mental health concern, child behavior or relationship, divorce or separation issue or even help growing your practice. I am available in person and by video conferencing.

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

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Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, former parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Georgina Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America. He consults to mental health professionals as well as to mediators and collaborative law professionals about good practice as well as building their practice.