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Child Between Separated Parents

April 26, 2022

The child was six or seven. I was seeing this child as part of an assessment to help the courts determine a parenting plan.

The child entered my office full of determination to tell me something, to get something off their mind.

The child told me who their preferred parent was and how much time they wanted to spend with that parent. The child offered their rationale, disparaging the other parent.

I told the child that was a lot to say and asked if anyone helped them remember.

It was the parent who drove the child to our meeting.

When I asked if they practiced during the ride over, the child indicated with big eyes, the whole ride over.

I told the child they did a good job and good tell their parent so. The child relaxed.

After that beginning, I then engaged the child in a conversation about the parent they had just disparaged. They loved that parent too and offered much information contradicting what they told as practiced.

I wrote the entire dialogue into my report.

FYI – I have used gender neutral terms because I have had this kind of conversations multiple times regarding kids and parents of all gender and sexual orientation.


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I am Gary Direnfeld and I am a social worker. Check out all my services and then call me if you need help with a personal issue, mental health concern, child behavior or relationship, divorce or separation issue or even help growing your practice. I am available in person and by video conferencing.

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Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

gary@yoursocialworker.com
www.yoursocialworker.com for counseling and support

www.garydirenfeld.com – to build your successful practice

Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, former parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Georgina Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America. He consults to mental health professionals as well as to mediators and collaborative law professionals about good practice as well as building their practice.

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