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Separated Parents: Truth or Peace. You may have to choose.

October 22, 2021

Chatted with someone about a dispute over parenting time and decision making.

They were also quite upset about the facts of their situation and wanted the truth to be known.

The thing is, the dispute regarding the care of the child was near resolved, yet they were hoping to pursue a determination of truth. A pursuit of truth between separated parents where both allege abuse by the other is risky. It’s almost guaranteed neither will agree on the events that occurred between them. Further, going in that direction can undo any agreement reached on the care of the kids. This in turn can give rise to a prolonged and expensive court battle.

The challenge in these situations is to keep an eye on the prize and that is an agreement both can buy into regarding the care of kids.

You know your truth.

Now provide peace.

Truth can cost more than the money. The ongoing conflict distracts from the child and immerses the child in an ongoing dispute.

Peace is priceless and typically provides for a better outcome for the kids, assuming they remain safe.

Therein was my guidance.

Seek a parenting plan you can live with.

If that is achieved, you have likely done well.

The pursuit of perfect or best, can undermine good.


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I am Gary Direnfeld and I am a social worker. Check out all my services and then call me if you need help with a personal issue, mental health concern, child behavior or relationship, divorce or separation issue or even help growing your practice. I am available in person and by video conferencing.

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Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

gary@yoursocialworker.com
www.yoursocialworker.com for counseling and support

www.garydirenfeld.com – to build your successful practice

Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, former parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Georgina Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America. He consults to mental health professionals as well as to mediators and collaborative law professionals about good practice as well as building their practice.

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