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See the Words, Not the Spelling

February 16, 2020

My dad would sit with me to practice the list of words.

Spelling was not my strength. He was.

With his kind patience I would slowly master the list, preparing for the morning’s test. I would pass and yet the order of letters to comprise the words I printed down would fade thereafter.

Spelling remains a challenge, something unknown about me to others.

Frequently I am calling out to Arlene to remind me how to spell a word, a word I have written many times before, but just can’t seem to recall.

I am envious of those whose spelling is clearly not right yet who still choose to convey their thought through the written word.

They participate, making themselves known, not affected by what was in my day seen as something shameful to be hidden and thus restrictive of participation.

I am clear in my thinking and well able to put my thoughts to print. Many people are and additionally unrestricted by shame of poor spelling.

Spellcheck helps, but to a point. Sometimes more than one word presents itself. There I am forced to choose/choice/chose.

I may select at random having an error pointed out to me later by Arlene or a kind follower who texts me a correction, as that does happen.

So, I remain troubled by my spelling and envious of those who still participate unrestricted.

Your words, thoughts, comments and input matters. I continue to learn.

I applaud those who continue to comment regardless of spelling.


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I am Gary Direnfeld and I am a social worker. Check out all my services and then call me if you need help with a personal issue, mental health concern, child behavior or relationship, divorce or separation issue or even help growing your practice. I am available in person and by video conferencing.

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW for counseling and support – to build your successful practice


Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, former parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Georgina Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America. He consults to mental health professionals as well as to mediators and collaborative law professionals about good practice as well as building their practice

  1. Susan Farnsworth permalink

    Please disregard and accept my apology for my last harsh email. I realized you are not a retailer trying to sell me something, but a blogger. I saw many scrolls of emails from you, probably 30 or 40 items, and I lost my temper. Less angering that yours are not sales pitches but you do send rather a lot. Maybe cut it in half.

    • Hi Susan,

      Given you are receiving emails when I post, at some time you must have opted in to receive them. There should be a unsubscribe feature on the email received. It may be in small print at the bottom of the email. I have looked through my list of subscribers and do not see your name. You may have used an email address without your name. Please feel free to email me with any email addresses you use and I will look through my list to remove, if possible. My email address is

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