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Relationships and Vulnerability. Hungry?

January 29, 2020

Ever been so hungry you would eat anything?

We’ve all had that experience. We grab something to eat because we are famished and as the hunger goes away, we realize we are not really enjoying the food we are eating.

So too with relationships.

Sometimes people are so starved for affection, they will take whatever comes along. With a bit of time they then come to realize their choice isn’t so healthy and although partially filled, continue to feel emotionally empty.

Indeed, there are some folks who look to take advantage of others who are emotionally starved. One’s own hunger for affection can create vulnerability.

Some of these folks come by their emotional hunger honestly. They may not have been appropriately nurtured and valued growing up. It is as if they have a hole in their tummy that cannot be filled. Many may not even realize this as it has forever been their normal.

The challenge is learning to nurture and value oneself, to make healthy choices in one’s interest, to resist charm and seemingly quick love, to resist giving of oneself sexually too soon in hopes of gaining affection.

To meet this challenge one may need support. This is best offered from someone you know to care about you for you or from someone neutral such as a counselor.

As you learn to nurture and value yourself and set boundaries and tell the difference between temptation and opportunity, that hole in the tummy can finally heal.

With you taking care of you, hunger and vulnerability subside.

Healthier decisions come from a place of greater emotional health.

Don’t grocery shop when hungry. Consider applying that to relationships. Start by taking care of yourself.


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I am Gary Direnfeld and I am a social worker. Check out all my services and then call me if you need help with a personal issue, mental health concern, child behavior or relationship, divorce or separation issue or even help growing your practice. I am available in person and by video conferencing.

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW for counseling and support – to build your successful practice


Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, former parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Georgina Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America. He consults to mental health professionals as well as to mediators and collaborative law professionals about good practice as well as building their practice

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