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Like Being Stuck Between Two Best Friends

December 16, 2019

You have two best friends. They don’t like each other. They are quite different personalities. Both really like you.

Their homes are so different.

Each with different rules, even different food preferences, even different volumes of how people speak.

You know each friend would not survive in the home of the other.

You have to remind yourself of which home you are entering lest you behave in one home the way that would be accepted and expected in the other. Getting it wrong is looked as disrespectful behavior on your part.

Given both are close friends of yours, they are rivals for your friendship and time together.

You really can’t share your good times with one with the other. Jealousies would take over. You would risk a backlash and consternation directed to you personally. You don’t talk of your time with the other and shrug off any attempts to find out.

You have learned to keep your friendships secretive. You just want to be able to enjoy your time with each without scrutiny by the other.

Such is the experience of many children between separated parents.

Don’t pry. They are doing their best just to remember each house rules and expectations and just fit in and be accepted for who they are and not for whom they must live with.

Enjoy their company.


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I am Gary Direnfeld and I am a social worker. Check out all my services and then call me if you need help with a personal issue, mental health concern, child behavior or relationship, divorce or separation issue or even help growing your practice. I am available in person and by video conferencing.

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW for counseling and support – to build your successful practice


Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, former parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Georgina Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America. He consults to mental health professionals as well as to mediators and collaborative law professionals about good practice as well as building their practice

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