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Narcissists. Don’t Be a Pawn in Their Game.

May 16, 2019

The average person may see some posts or hear someone talking about having to live with a narcissist.

Without the experience though, it is difficult to truly appreciate.

You see, these people are chameleons, wolves in sheep’s clothing.

They can appear remarkably charming, which by the way, is actually a risk indicator that someone may be a narcissist.

Narcissists need to have things their own way. It feeds their ego and sense of importance.

When thwarted, it is not just that they think something didn’t go their way, no, to them the experience is like they are caused to feel worthless. That to them is unacceptable.

As such the narcissist must not only re-right the balance, but feels they must also crush those who they perceive to have thwarted them.

However, some of these folks although emotionally shallow may still be highly intelligent, making them dangerous.

The dangerousness is their capacity to extract revenge while looking good in the process. Their charm masks the insidious and manipulative strategic thumping they bring to their target of blame.

Next time someone tells you they are dealing with a narcissist, just know that person needs you to appreciate they are struggling with someone out to undermine their wellbeing.

These people, the ones dealing with the narcissist aren’t paranoid, it’s just that the narcissist is better at manipulation, lying and charming than most people are good at telling the truth. That is the expertise of the narcissist.

Next time you meet with someone who seems charming, seems to be weaving a tale that makes another look bad at times more by insinuation than accusation, just be careful. You may be coming under their spell to act in their interest insidiously against their target.

Sure listen, but don’t necessarily act on their behalf. Don’t be a pawn in their game.

For more posts on relationships, parenting and family life, follow me on Facebook!

I am Gary Direnfeld and I am a social worker. Check out all my services and then call me if you need help with a personal issue, mental health concern, child behavior or relationship, divorce or separation issue or even help growing your practice. I am available in person and by video conferencing.

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW for counseling and support – to build your successful practice


Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Georgina Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America. He consults to mental health professionals as well as to mediators and collaborative law professionals about good practice as well as building their practice.

  1. Carmen Velez permalink

    Loved the article!

  2. Louise Connolly permalink

    Love your posts. All the way from London, UK.!

  3. Rick permalink

    I’m a therapist for over 20 years and what you wrote is right to the point!

  4. Really good article.

  5. Indeed, they are dangerous. I have experience with these kind. Excellent article. I write about them, as well.

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