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Ten Tips for Focusing on the Kids During Your Separation

August 24, 2016

Ten tips to focus on YOU with the kids and not the other parent.

  1. Maintain a reasonable home schedule;
  2. Get the homework done;
  3. Have meals together;
  4. Ignore diatribes, intrusions and insinuations of the other parent;
  5. Know your children’s friends by name;
  6. Check in with your children’s teachers so they know you personally and not through the other parent;
  7. Remain gracious when referencing the other parent – never badmouth to others or the children;
  8. Remember to tell your children in words, you love them – frequently;
  9. Let your children transfer between you and the other parent peacefully;
  10. Maintain control of your own emotions and behavior without seeking to control others.


Because when we focus on the kids and not the other parent, we improve our relationship with our children and their experience of us. Our behavior can be more determinative of our relationship with our children then what anyone else says or does. Focus on that.

Here are some of the same tips presented more specifically for dads.

I am Gary Direnfeld and I am a social worker. Please check out my services and then call me if you need help with a child behavior or relationship issue.

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

Linked In

Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Dundas and Georgina Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America.

If your relationship is faltering, then set it as your priority.

Read: Marriage Rescue: Overcoming ten deadly sins in failing relationships

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