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What You Discover May Just Change Everything

May 25, 2016

Ever wonder what makes you tick or why you may find yourself in a challenging relationship? Do you find yourself sad or concerned about things over which you have little control? Are you trying to kick a bad habit? Have you tried to limit your drinking only to find yourself back where you started? Are you worried about your parenting or at least how your kids will turn out? Do you find yourself the victim of other people’s behavior? Is your relationship troubled?

Those are just some of the things that bring people into counseling and once in counseling, people wonder how long it will take to figure things out and hopefully make things different. In most people’s mind, counseling is something they attend on a 50 minute basis, week after week. It is no wonder people concern themselves with the duration of counseling when they fear they cannot get their whole story out and then lose momentum from one week to the other, finding that the standard 50 minute session is just too short.

I certainly wouldn’t want my surgeon kicking me off the table saying, we’ll take the scalpel out next week and I wouldn’t want to end a counseling session in the middle of an epiphany hoping to get back to it the next week either. That’s why my approach to counseling and self-discovery is different.

I always set aside a good three hours for each and every meeting, however, I only bill for actual time used. That way we don’t need to end simply for running out of time. We get to end our meeting where it makes sense. There is no more worrying about not getting your story out or losing momentum from one meeting to the next.

The other thing my clients appreciate is that I don’t just sit there taking notes. I ask questions, direct questions about one’s one’s life experiences. I also provide feedback. I discuss and draw connections between one’s life experiences and current challenges. This is what leads to a client’s sense of discovery – putting together one’s life’s events in a way that clarifies the present and leads to making a difference on a go-forward basis. As for going forward, I typically offer guidance as to what one can do to improve matters.

By the way, I rarely set a second meeting the following week. I am of the view that given a good session, people need time to think about what was discussed and experience the effect of discovery before returning. More commonly if people do return, it is a good 3 to 6 weeks later. That way they have time to make use of the counseling experience and we can discuss the impact of that experience when we get together again.

This is a unique style of practice. My clients typically love it and can’t believe how fast the time flies in session. They really value that first meeting and that in many cases, only a few meetings are actually necessary to make significant change.

Are you looking to discover answers to the questions in your head? Are you seeking to change the trajectory of your life, an issue or a relationship? It would be my pleasure to be of service. It is amazing what can be achieved and what you can discover in a process that is guided and supported.

I am Gary Direnfeld and I am a social worker. Call me.

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

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Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Dundas and Georgina Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America.

If your relationship is faltering, then set it as your priority.

Read: Marriage Rescue: Overcoming ten deadly sins in failing relationships

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