Skip to content

Relationship Advice – Spotting the Dangerous Narcissist.

October 27, 2015

It starts by claiming to have been abused, hurt or taken advantage of by someone.

However, rarely do persons who were abused spew vitriol or seek to assassinate the character of their abuser. More typically those who were abused seek for the abuse to stop and for the abuser to take some degree of responsibility. Beyond that most persons who were abused otherwise seek to live free from harm.

However, some persons with narcissistic tendencies or personalities will seek to eviscerate those whom they feel may have thwarted their interests as if thwarting their narcissistic interest was equivalent to abuse. The target of their scorn could be a present or former partner, a service provider, their own lawyer, a counselor, a tradesperson, one’s boss or a co-worker. What makes these narcissists dangerous is that they will go out of their way to assassinate their target’s character or well-being or business, seeking maximum vengeance at feeling thwarted.

When one sees such vitriol, hatred and descriptions of supposed terrible deeds they ascribe to the target of their behavior, people are well advised to consider the source and be concerned that this person’s view of the other, may just be a reflection of themselves. The process is called projection. They ascribe to others, behavior and attitudes originating with themselves.

If you are in a relationship with such a person, remember, the behavior they demonstrate to others, can just as easily be targeted to you if they feel thwarted by you too. Think twice about being sucked into a relationship with persons who you see trying to annihilate another regardless of their justification. You could be next.

Quietly walk away.

I am Gary Direnfeld and I am a social worker.

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

Linked In

Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Dundas Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America.

If your relationship is faltering, then set it as your priority.

Read: Marriage Rescue: Overcoming ten deadly sins in failing relationships.

Amazon US

Amazon Canada

From → Uncategorized

  1. Alice Cotton permalink

    How can someone who has narcissistic tendencies work on lessening them?

    • It begins by their seeing a need to doso. If they do not see a need to do so, then little can be done. If they do see a need to do so, then they should go to counseling and be open about their issues and what thy want to change.

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. Relationship Advice – Spotting the Dangerous Narcissist. | bcbonusmomblog
  2. Relationship Advice – Spotting the Dangerous Narcissist. | taherehbarati
  3. Separating; Surviving; Thriving. | Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: