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Parenting Goggles and Misbehavior

August 24, 2014

Parenting goggles: Those glasses some parents wear that prevents them from seeing their children realistically, particularly when they are inappropriate.

Parenting goggles is most recognizable when paired with such phases such as, “Not my kid; Yours started it; Your kid asked for it; We don’t like you anyways, so s/he doesn’t need to apologize; It wasn’t as bad as all that; Get over it.”

Parenting goggles are often associated with children who are bullies. Parenting goggles typically precludes the parent from holding their child accountable. Further, parenting goggles are also associated with parents who have an inflated view of themselves, likely masking the parent’s own insecurities or inadequacies.

If you come across a parent wearing parenting goggles, there may be little you can do. Parenting goggles are frequently strapped tightly on and do not respond well to outside attempts at removal.

Caution is advised for those who might feel compelled to help a parent with tightly strapped parenting goggles, remove them. Attempts of removal without permission can result in an opposite and greater affect on the person attempting the unauthorized removal. In this circumstance, the person initiating the unauthorized removal can be caused to appear the aggressor.

Best strategy is to keep one’s distance from a parent wearing tightly strapped on parenting goggles and to keep your children safe from their children.

Over time though the parent wearing the parenting goggles will eventually be seen for not managing their child appropriately. Their parenting goggles will become apparent to others and under the shear weight of the realistic gaze of many others, may eventually fall off.

Time, patience and distance may be the best friends of the realistic parent coping with the parent wearing parenting goggles.

I am Gary Direnfeld and I am a social worker.

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Dundas Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America.

If your relationship is faltering, then set it as your priority.

Read: Marriage Rescue: Overcoming ten deadly sins in failing relationships.

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  1. Gary
    You are so right. I was a policeman for 30 years. Everytime I brough home a young person to a parent, I could tell by the reception of the parent whether I would ever see that young person in trouble again. The kids with parent goggles always surfaced again. They hadn’t a chance.

  2. You are right on with the pattern of parent goggles. I often find myself presenting the parent with a cost and benefits analysis, appealing the subject of where they would rather spend their energy. Less persistent therapist have trouble with this.

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