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Here’s how you keep kids out of the middle…

April 10, 2013

So I just finished presenting another workshop on co-parenting for separated parents.

Again a man asked, what do I do when my ex badmouths me to my daughter? I didn’t kiss this guy like I did in the second workshop when another man asked the very same question. Instead I walked over to him and rubbed his back and asked if that felt OK. With that he was satisfied. I told him to do the same with his daughter. He got it.

In the end, we can only control ourselves and the challenge is to not get inducted into the agenda of the other parent, but to remain mindful of the love for our children. This is how we manage our part, keeping children out from between parental conflict.

The fellow at the workshop, along with everyone else in attendance got it too – in a way no words could have ever described. This series of workshops have been fun, engaging, interactive and filled with parents who all felt they came away feeling better and with new tools to help them cope with challenging circumstances. In the end, their children are the beneficiaries. Modeling care, attention, listening and support is a vital part of a good presentation. More than talking the talk is walking the walk.

My thanks to Christina Wood of the YWCA of Hamilton/Burlington/Brant for organizing and promoting this series of workshops.

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

(905) 628-4847

Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Dundas Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America.

If your relationship is faltering, then set it as your priority.

Read: Marriage Rescue: Overcoming ten deadly sins in failing relationships.

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