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Fighting Over Choice of Service Provider in Child Custody/Access Disputes

You know the file is going to be high conflict when you receive a call from one parent extolling your virtues, wanting you as service provider be it child custody/access assessor/evaluator, mediator, arbitrator or parenting coordinator and then hearing the other side is opposed to your appointment in this capacity. You also know the caller is seeking to stroke your ego in an effort to gain favor in the process.

What the caller needs to know is that such behavior on their part may cause them to look manipulative by being so ingratiating. This caller is undermining their own effort, inadvertently creating a negative impression of him/herself with this misguided strategy. This is a poor way to get the ball rolling.

If you are seeking a service provider to address your dispute regarding your children, it is typically better if your lawyer makes the referral on your behalf. When the parent calls first, then the other parent will likely be more concerned for issues of bias on the part of the service provider, contemplating what one-sided information has already been provided by the caller.

Lawyers are usually aware of these issues and hence seek to provide minimal factual information so as not to sully the referral within the initial contact. Very often the lawyers will also agree upon the information to be provided to the service provider to facilitate the referral. This is almost always the case if you choose collaboratively trained lawyers. This increases the likelihood of the parents agreeing upon the choice of service provider.

However, when parents do not agree and assuming both choices are within the range of reasonable, then I often tell the caller to choose the other person. The degree to which this choice becomes the battleground, this too can reflect poorly upon one or both parents. Better to move forward by availing oneself of the services to resolve your dispute than getting mired in new disputes along the way.

In my jurisdiction we are blessed with several competent, well regarded service providers, all of whom provide a range of services for separated parents in conflict over the care of their children.

At the end of the day, your children need to be freed from the parental conflict. Think of your children and look to resolve matters, not get hung up creating new ones. Given that parental conflict alone is the most potent predictor for your children’s psycho-social outcome, avoiding this battle is already in their favor. That matters most.

I am Gary Direnfeld and I am a social worker.

http://garydirenfeld.files.wordpress.com/2013/07/gary-feb-12.jpg?w=200&h=301

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

gary@yoursocialworker.com
http://www.yoursocialworker.com

http://www.facebook.com/GaryDirenfeldSocialWorker
http://www.linkedin.com/profile/view?id=60758978&trk=tab_pro
https://twitter.com/socialtworker

Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Dundas Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America.

If your relationship is faltering, then set it as your priority.

Read: Marriage Rescue: Overcoming ten deadly sins in failing relationships.

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First comes love, then comes marriage…

Many couples come to counseling in crisis with their relationship or marriage at risk. They have little or no understanding of the issues or concerns of the other and even less appreciation of each others point of view. The infatuation, mistaken as “true love”, has expired in the demands of daily living.

Quite often and upon exploration, it becomes clear that couples have missed a step or two in the mating process. They forgot to become friends and/or they forgot to court.

Dating at any age is the involvement with another for personal fun, pleasure or gratification. With any luck, the involvement provides for mutuality of experience but this is not necessarily an objective. Given the sexual mores of the day, the intent of dating often includes sexual enticement or gratification. Luck features prominently in dating because until together, the couple knows little of each other and hence the outcome is uncertain. This is the nature of dating. During the dating process, the parties tend to present themselves in their best light, hiding any blemishes, physically or personally, that might otherwise undermine the pursuit of fun, pleasure or gratification. The trouble is that some persons mistake the dating behavior as indicative of the party’s true self and rush to engagement or marriage without taking other crucial steps in the coupling process.

Friendship goes beyond dating and is indicative of knowing, liking and trusting a person. In getting to know a person and developing a friendship, a truer and deeper appreciation of personality and traits are gained. We rely on our friendships for mutual support, encouragement, and entertainment. While dating is directed at personal fun, pleasure or gratification, friendship provides for mutual benefit at neither party’s expense. It takes experience with a person to learn whether or not there is a shared sense of mutual responsibility to the friendship – reciprocity of mutual support and caring. Given that this is discovered to be the case, persons can explore the next stage in the coupling process.

Courtship takes friendship to a new level. In courtship, the parties signal an exclusivity of the relationship with the intent of exploring the potential for lifelong bonding or cohabitation. Courtship is therefore much more serious than friendship and requires that the participants take the time to learn fully, all the blemishes, physical and otherwise that their potential life partner possesses. This is where couples must truly get to know each other in all aspects of life; psychological, behavioral, familial, social, vocational, etc. When we take on a partner, we take on all their significant relationships too. In getting to know each other in all aspects of life, the purpose of courting then becomes to answer the question, “Can I live with this person…and family… forever?”

Relationships are best taken on as they are and not as an investment. Whereas we generally try to limit our risk when investing money, similarly we should limit our risk when taking on relationships. This is not to say we do not partner with someone who has issues or problems, but rather, they must be in plain view, they must be discussed and there must be an agreed upon plan in place for management. You must decide what you can and cannot live with. Courting is the time to figure this out.

With friendship then courtship undertaken and resolved, persons are ready for the next stage; engagement. Engagement is the promise to marry. This is not meant as experimentation or learning, but to provide time for the preparation of a commitment process to lifelong bonding and exclusive cohabitation.

Play your cards right and follow these steps and you will reduce the likelihood of winding up in the therapist’s office. And wouldn’t that be just lovely!

I am Gary Direnfeld and I am a social worker.

http://garydirenfeld.files.wordpress.com/2013/07/gary-feb-12.jpg?w=200&h=301

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

 

gary@yoursocialworker.com
http://www.yoursocialworker.com

http://www.facebook.com/GaryDirenfeldSocialWorker
http://www.linkedin.com/profile/view?id=60758978&trk=tab_pro
https://twitter.com/socialtworker

Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Dundas Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America.

If your relationship is faltering, then set it as your priority.

Read: Marriage Rescue: Overcoming ten deadly sins in failing relationships.

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Will Your Kids Be Of “Good Character”?

At some point most parents think about the kind of person their child will grow up to be. This is different from what they may do for a living. This involves issues of integrity, honesty and caring for others. Will your child grow up to be of good character?

The answer to the question can be determined by examining parental behavior from very early on. As parents nurture their children and act in their presence, they provide powerful lessons that will set the tone for what kind of adults their children will turn out to be.

Two key ingredients can go a long way to developing your child to be of good character:

1) Helping them to take responsibility for their actions;

2) Helping them to participate in doing good deeds.

When two-year-old Jacob spills his juice, the parent has several choices in how to respond. Jacob can be scolded; ignored; helped to clean up the mess or the parent can clean it up alone. Each response carries its own message to Jacob. Scolding is upsetting in itself and teaches Jacob to avoid getting caught. Ignoring suggests the spilled juice doesn’t matter and the behavior can be repeated. The parent cleaning up for Jacob suggests Jacob has no responsibility what-so-ever for his actions and thus he can do as he pleases. Finally, the parent engaging Jacob in the cleaning process without scolding suggests there is a natural consequence to behaviour and he must assume some responsibility for restoring or repairing the situation.

When Jacob is four-years-of-age and he aggressively takes a toy from another child, again the parent has choices in how to respond. However, if the parent explains to Jacob how he hurt the other child’s feelings, has him apologize, return the toy and then negotiate sharing, Jacob learns the impact of his behavior on others, restitution and then negotiation.

Based upon these experiences, when six-year-old Jacob breaks a window playing ball, you have increased the likelihood that Jacob will return to you on his own to report the accident and seek your help to clean the mess and correct the situation. He will have learned that you are caring, reasonable and responsible and he will be following the behavior you modeled and taught him. He will act less with a concern of punishment and fear and more with a concern for caring and responsibility.

To further their children’s good character, parents are advised to encourage their children to join them in practicing “good deeds”. A good deed is when someone does something for someone else without being asked or without expecting anything in return. We teach children about good deeds by their observing our good deeds. We also teach about good deeds when we ask our children to help out, with only providing our thanks in return. Our thanks can of course include expressions of affection!

Through good deeds, children learn that the world doesn’t just revolve around them, but includes other who may benefit from our help. At first the reward may come from our praise, but as the child ages, they learn to derive satisfaction themselves from helping others. Children can help clear the table, help the neighbour with the yard, share a toy and join us when we do our volunteer work.

Being of good character doesn’t need to happen by chance. Parental behaviour that encourages children to take responsibility for their actions, correct situations and practice good deeds can go a long way to assuring kids grow up to be of good character.

I am Gary Direnfeld and I am a social worker.

http://garydirenfeld.files.wordpress.com/2013/07/gary-feb-12.jpg?w=200&h=301

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

 

gary@yoursocialworker.com
http://www.yoursocialworker.com

http://www.facebook.com/GaryDirenfeldSocialWorker
http://www.linkedin.com/profile/view?id=60758978&trk=tab_pro
https://twitter.com/socialtworker

Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Dundas Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America.

If your relationship is faltering, then set it as your priority.

Read: Marriage Rescue: Overcoming ten deadly sins in failing relationships.

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Your Feelings May Betray You.

Many people enter into therapy advising of a whole host of feelings. Then on the basis of those feelings, they rationalize their behavior. For some of these people, having a feeling creates a sense of entitlement and excuses inappropriate behavior.

“I deserve xyz” is a common refrain, as is “I felt like it”, or even “I was angry at the time”; or simply, “that is what I felt”… therefore it legitimizes whatever I have done.

In these circumstances, we speak of poor judgement. What is meant by this is when we allow a feeling to dictate or legitimize behavior where the behavior hasn’t been thought through and in particular when the behavior, on the basis of that feeling creates further distress for self or another.

Unfortunately some people’s feelings actually betray them. Their feelings may be disproportionate to a triggering event; their feelings may be based on a misperception of the triggering event; or in the case of some people, their feelings may not be of a sufficient intensity to appropriately register and respond to the triggering event.

Past traumatic experiences such as exposure to violent events (childhood or otherwise, intra or extra-familial), shock, neglect, family dysfunction, parental alcoholism, are all known to skew feelings.

The person subject to those kind of events may have a heightened sensitivity or alternately be desensitized such that when feelings occur, the feeling may not be truly representative of the experience. Hence, people may overreact, under-react and even inappropriately react. Interestingly, this is true even of persons who do not recognize themselves to have been subject to traumatic events, yet have been.

The role of therapy is to help put past events into a more realistic perspective and understand the role of those events on how we feel and then by extension, how we behave. By understanding the connection between past events affecting feelings upon present experiences, the person can then think about the feelings and more realistically appraise the current situation before responding. This is really what is meant by seeking good or better judgement.

If you find yourself in ongoing conflict with others, where your actions are accused as contributory, you may want to explore your feelings and where they come from with the view to determining if your feelings are betraying you in any manner. Thereafter if your feelings are betraying you, you can learn more cognitive strategies for reappraising your feelings and determining an appropriate course of action.

I am Gary Direnfeld and I am a social worker.

http://garydirenfeld.files.wordpress.com/2013/07/gary-feb-12.jpg?w=200&h=301

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

(905) 628-4847

gary@yoursocialworker.com
http://www.yoursocialworker.com

http://www.facebook.com/GaryDirenfeldSocialWorker
http://www.linkedin.com/profile/view?id=60758978&trk=tab_pro
https://twitter.com/socialtworker

Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Dundas Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America.

If your relationship is faltering, then set it as your priority.

Read: Marriage Rescue: Overcoming ten deadly sins in failing relationships.

Amazon US

Amazon Canada

In Lieu of Court and Hardball Litigators

If you are separating or divorcing, there are good reasons you don’t want to go to court and why you want to avoid hardball, winner take all litigators.

The reason to stay away from court is to avoid the win/lose mentally of settling a case. The reason you want to stay away from the win/lose outcome is because in the end, very often both parties subject to the litigation wind up losing. The question is, how can that be?

It goes like this.

When you go to court and put your life into the hands of a third party who makes decisions over your life, you can rest assured that the decision, good or bad, will not be as well crafted as you may craft yourself because that person will never have all the intimate details of your life.

The other and perhaps the more important reason why so many court imposed outcomes fail, is that no one likes being the loser. No one likes holding the “dirty” end of the stick.

While you may be thrilled to have won, consider the psychology of the other. That person is likely to feel hard done by and resentful. How well does someone who feels resentful follow rules to which they are opposed?

Resentment begs revenge and the nature of the revenge is to undo whatever was imposed against their favor. That means that the “winner” now has a huge target painted on their back and the “loser” is seeking to take them down to re-right their view of an imposed wrong.

You may not even see your opponent coming as revenge can go underground and come back in passive aggressive strategies or subtle and sometimes not so subtle strategies of undermining behavior.

Winner/Loser? Now both have lost as you are embroiled in an ongoing battle of undoing perceived injustices. This is hardly ever a favorable outcome.

Keep the lawyers from being central as they too, fighting on your behalf are more often at tremendous risk of only ratcheting up your conflict. Sadly enough, this occurs amidst the conflict of interest where your intensifying conflict is directly related to their financial gain.

Instead of the folly of litigation, Court imposed outcomes and lawyer assisted or directed negotiation, consider those strategies that facilitate negotiation between the opposing parties themselves.

Those strategies include collaborative law and mediation.

At least in collaborative law, while you have tremendous lawyer support, the parties subject to the dispute are central to the process and always present in every negotiation. In other words, you remain in control throughout, although assisted and guided by your lawyers.

In mediation, you get to work with a single neutral facilitator to help you craft your agreement. Bear in mind, the mediator will be neutral with respect to the final outcome of your agreement. However the mediator will not be neutral with regard to respect and safety. There the mediator will seek to facilitate a safe and courteous environment within which to carry out your work. In so doing, the mediator very often also serves as coach to help improve separating couples communicate more effectively between themselves. This is very useful for maintaining that ongoing relationship as co-parents.

While your collaborative lawyers are expert at law, you can chose a mediator with expertise directly related to your area of dispute so that the mediator can provide information and guidance to help achieve an agreement consistent with your needs, interests and the well being of your children.

In the end, it is not just the agreement that is reached, but the likelihood of the parties honoring the agreement over the passage of time. It may be more advantageous to craft a less than perfect agreement to which both persons buy into and to which both can maintain, than an agreement that suits primarily one that will likely crash and burn anyways.

Statistically, more than 95% of most matters settle prior to a trial, so why not spend your time and less money by going directly to those strategies that avoid court and the escalation of conflict?

You still want your lawyer, chose collaboratively trained lawyers and enter a collaborative law process. Want to preserve greater costs and be the most central figures in your settlement, chose mediation.

Want a lawsuit that will cost countless thousands of dollars and take years to settle chose litigious lawyers and go to court.

Not sure when you really may need to litigate? Consider domestic violence, serious mental health issues or criminal behavior. In the absence of those issues, and indeed often even in the presence of those issues, the alternative strategies might very well still be your preferred strategies.

This Judgement by Justice Pazaratz really sums up these issues.

I am Gary Direnfeld and I am a social worker.

http://garydirenfeld.files.wordpress.com/2013/07/gary-feb-12.jpg?w=200&h=301

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

(905) 628-4847

gary@yoursocialworker.com
http://www.yoursocialworker.com

http://www.facebook.com/GaryDirenfeldSocialWorker
http://www.linkedin.com/profile/view?id=60758978&trk=tab_pro
https://twitter.com/socialtworker

Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Dundas Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America.

If your relationship is faltering, then set it as your priority.

Read: Marriage Rescue: Overcoming ten deadly sins in failing relationships.

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Amazon Canada

Parenting Guts

My wife and I were talking about some friends the other day. At issue was their inability to hold their kids accountable to respectable behavior. Whenever their kids acted rudely or didn’t listen, one of the parents would offer a lame excuse and essentially the child was let off the hook. With the kid’s face buried in a screen, the parents were effectively dismissed.

My wife surmised that one or both parents were afraid of their kids’ push-back. Technically I refer to this as protest behavior – the behavior of the child seeking to undo the directive or expectation of the parent. The push-back or protest behavior can come in the form of a tantrum, an escalation of out of control behavior, violence, withdrawal, talking back, incessant arguing or emotional manipulation (you don’t love me… you are hurting me… my friend’s dad let them do…).

As the parent acquiesces to the protest behavior, the child feels emboldened and learns that such behavior works to undo the parental expectation. The untoward behavior thus continues.

My wife, not a social worker, just cut to the chase and said, “That parent has no parenting guts”.

Parenting guts. What a concept.

In today’s multi-screen universe where kids whine for increased connectivity to the Internet and portability of devices, so many more kids are getting into trouble and accessing information far beyond their maturity to handle.

As we seem to be developing an increasingly spoiled generation of kids whose manners or help around the house appears to be a diminishing capacity, maybe it is time to think in terms of parenting guts.

Parenting guts.

As your child whines about the access to technology their friends have and seek to have you pick up the tab for their premium cell plan, maybe it’s time for parental push-back.

Really? You think a cell phone makes them safer? Think again. It just may offer them up as a target for theft, on-line bullying or worse, exploitation!

Since when is the rantings of the child, holding the parent hostage by comparisons to the trappings of other spoiled kids a rationale for giving in?

So what if your kid doesn’t like the parental expectation (assuming reasonable) and they whine? Would any of those strategies work for you at your place of employment for getting a raise or advancement?

I like my wife’s new term.

In today’s world, more parents need parenting guts. If the child’s behavior wouldn’t be acceptable at your place of employment, it shouldn’t be acceptable from your kids at home.

Now this is not permission for abusive parenting, but permission for parents to withstand the push-back of their children and teaching them the value of respect, listening, working for their own things and giving back to others.

As these parents develop their parenting guts, then their kids can grow to be the healthy, moral and reasonable adults they would want them to be.

Turn off the Internet at dinner time; have time for chores; make sure the homework gets done; limit the video games; address rude or disrespectful behavior; enjoy some family time.

As your kids are now is how they will likely be come adulthood. Would anyone in the outside world tolerate such attitudes and behavior? Would their behavior be acceptable in an intimate adult relationship? Just what kind of adult do you want your child to be?

The alternative? Spoiled brats who grow into narcissistic adults.

You choose.

I think my wife got this right. Have some parenting guts.

I am Gary Direnfeld and I am a social worker.

http://garydirenfeld.files.wordpress.com/2013/07/gary-feb-12.jpg?w=200&h=301

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

(905) 628-4847

gary@yoursocialworker.com
http://www.yoursocialworker.com

http://www.facebook.com/GaryDirenfeldSocialWorker
http://www.linkedin.com/profile/view?id=60758978&trk=tab_pro
https://twitter.com/socialtworker

Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Dundas Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America.

If your relationship is faltering, then set it as your priority.

Read: Marriage Rescue: Overcoming ten deadly sins in failing relationships.

Amazon US

Amazon Canada

Alcoholic? Quitting is only the beginning.

People who drink to excess, where their drinking causes distress to others, are frequently caught in a web of denial and minimization. These persons are unable to see or unable to admit that their drinking is adversely affecting their own life and that of others. Typically, this person excuses their drinking by pointing fingers at persons who are worse than them as if that makes their drinking less consequential. They also may excuse their drinking by blaming others for contributing to their need to drink. An apology for their drinking and impact on others is out of the question. That would mean assuming some degree of responsibility.

When the pressure to stop drinking is greater than the desire to drink, or when one finally feels so poorly about their drinking, one may finally cease to consume alcohol. An understanding of the alcoholism however does not motivate their cessation. The motivation tends to be the desire to avoid further criticism or consequences, such as the loss of a relationship or job. Thus these persons may quit the drink, but their thinking about themselves and others goes unchanged. These persons are still apt to project blame onto others, deny their own issues that are contributory to distress and minimize their untoward behaviour. An apology for the impact of their drinking and behaviour on others is still out of the question.

To the spouse or partner of the drinker, their life also continues unchanged. In view of the ongoing blaming, denial and minimization, the spouse or partner may believe they are somehow the source of their mutual distress. That the drinker has ceased drinking may actually make matters worse in this regard as the alcohol cannot no longer be directly blamed for the relationship problems. The spouse or partner may be bamboozled into believing the nonsense of the drinker.

So the drinking ends, but not much else changes.

Alcoholism, while certainly about problematic drinking is also about the thinking and behavior of the problematic drinker. Unless the associated thinking and behavior is addressed, relationship problems continue and may in fact worsen. They may worsen because the partner is no longer able to blame the drinking directly and the alcoholic may thus project more blame on the behavior of the partner rather than on himself or herself. These drinkers are apt to be controlling of others, directly or indirectly abusive and they are certainly apt to put their needs ahead of others while making everyone else out to be the source of problems.

Treatment for drinkers must include addressing the associated thinking and behavior. In addition, the partner or spouse is also advised to seek support to understand the dynamics of their relationship such that they can withstand the thinking and behavior of the drinker, stand up for themselves, hold the drinker accountable and make decisions now in their own interest as opposed to the interest of the drinker. These matters can be addressed in couple or marital counseling as long as the counselor is trained in couple or marital counseling and has knowledge and expertise with alcoholism and addictions.

In addition to couple or marital counseling, are programs such as Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon and Alateen. The benefits of these programs are in helping the drinker understand their thinking and behavior and the impact on others so that they may take responsibility and make changes. The benefit of Al-Anon and Alateen is to help family members also understand the thinking and behavior they have been subject to and how to manage and cope in view of the thinking and behavior of the drinker.

So while quitting problem drinking is a first step, without further treatment and support, the problems associated with the thinking and behavior of the drinker may continue and may worsen.

To make a lasting and positive difference, seek help to address the underlying problems of thinking and behavior. This is recommended for the drinker and the partner or spouse and other family members.

I am Gary Direnfeld and I am a social worker.

http://garydirenfeld.files.wordpress.com/2013/07/gary-feb-12.jpg?w=497

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

(905) 628-4847

gary@yoursocialworker.com
http://www.yoursocialworker.com

http://www.facebook.com/GaryDirenfeldSocialWorker
http://www.linkedin.com/profile/view?id=60758978&trk=tab_pro
https://twitter.com/socialtworker

Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Dundas Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America.

If your relationship is faltering, then set it as your priority.

Read: Marriage Rescue: Overcoming ten deadly sins in failing relationships.

Amazon US

Amazon Canada

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