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Iatrogenic Effect: A negative consequence brought forth by the healer.

While the concept of the iatrogenic effect is well known to medicine, it doesn’t receive much attention in the context of counseling. However and if we accept the counselor as a form of healer, emotional, psychological or psychiatric, then it does us well to ponder this concept as applied to counseling.

Counseling tends to be treated at best, something to help overcome emotional, personal or interpersonal problems. At worst, counseling appears to be viewed as innocuous; if not helpful, at least not harmful.

Rarely discussed though are those unintentional consequences, the negative outcomes of well-intended acts. Like any intervention, counseling too has its potential iatrogenic effects even while at some level being helpful.

As much as we rail against the stigma of mental illness and mental health services, it remains such that a stigma exists. As much as a person may be appropriately served and aided by mental health services such as counseling, there can remain a part of that person affected by the stigma merely from receipt of services. This can form a potential emotional/psychological weight, the antidote of which often deployed by the client, is secrecy. Secrecy, a withholding of personal information can provide a barrier to ones connection to others in intimate relationships. It can cause a person to feel less about him or herself, just for the mere attendance at counseling. Thus the intended goal of empowerment, getting along with others, or ameliorating emotional upset, can be offset by the unintended consequences produced from the weight of stigma.

Beyond the stigma often associated with mental health services, the process itself can produce unwanted consequences.

It is not uncommon for persons with relationship difficulties to seek counseling to address those difficulties. At times, the person seeks to address those difficulties unilaterally in individual counseling. While there may be a good rationale for doing so, an opposing concern would be the counselor inadvertently aligning with the client, particularly in the presence of a one-sided account of the relationship difficulties. Individual counseling for relationship issues also presumes the client to be an accurate historian of the issues presented. In the absence of meeting, knowing and assessing the context over and above of the person singularly, the counselor is at risk of providing counsel or at least inadvertently reinforcing issues or notions that are not actually reasonable to the circumstance. At once a person may feel better from an individual perspective yet have their relationship issues worsened. In some cases then, individual counseling for a relationship issue may worsen the relationship issue.

Notwithstanding the above and again in the context of relationship issues, seeing persons jointly can not only erode the well being of a person on an individual basis, but more-so may place a person at risk of physical harm. Such is the case in matters of domestic violence or intimate partner violence. When these matters are not surfaced prior to joint sessions, the target of the violent and/or otherwise controlling behavior may be at a disadvantage for disclosure of interpersonal issues for fear of reprisal or retribution. The iatrogenic effect of uncovering issues related to one side may put the other side at risk of harm. Herein is the case for an appraisal of individual issues or the context of relationship issues ahead of service.

In the context of helping separated parents untangle the intimate relationship from the ongoing parental relationship, both parents and children can be at risk of harm from well-intentioned but misguided counseling efforts. Children brought for counseling may feel a need to align with one or other parent for factors beyond the recognition of the counselor. This can skew the information derived from the counseling process, and then be subject to misuse in the context of settling parenting disputes. Just signing a child up for counseling in the absence of joint parental permission can itself escalate the parental conflict to which the child is exposed, yet requires respite from. To the uninitiated counselor, providing counseling services in the context of separated parents in dispute carries the risk of a multitude of iatrogenic effects, not just befalling the client, but the service provider too as the service provider can be pulled into the vortex as a co-contributor to the parental conflict. The service provider can find him or herself at risk of reprisal from a disgruntled parent.

Counseling is anything but innocuous. It is a potent healing strategy aimed at repairing anything from the distraught to fractured psyche to tenuous and even dangerous relationships between individuals, intimate partners, parents and parents and children. Addressed in the counseling process are issues ranging from misplaced words creating emotional distress to despicable, horrific or traumatic acts that impact one’s ability to effectively meet the demands of life.

Just as the surgeon must examine the patient before surgery and may deploy far less intrusive measures, such as ex-rays, CT scans or MRIs, to make sure the cut is even necessary let alone well placed, the counselor is best advised to investigate the context and possible intervening variables that may need to be controlled for, prior to going straight form initial phone call to counseling appointment.

Referred to as “intake” many counselors rely solely upon an intake form or superficial questions posed by an “intake worker” to determine the appropriateness of the referral. However, many counselors themselves view counseling at worse as innocuous or may even put their need for a revenue stream or agency “numbers” ahead of determining the reasonableness of the referral, or ahead of determining the match between what is sought or needed and the skills or expertise of the counselor, or ahead of assessing safety or sobriety issues.

Counselors are well advised to review their intake processes to determine if their approach to intake mitigates or enables the potential for iatrogenic effects.

Counseling is not innocuous and not all counselors are suited to all issues. It behooves counselors to practice continuous professional development and to have structures in place to appropriately triage for service ahead of jumping into service. Intake procedures must provide for concern of and protection from iatrogenic effects. Intake is far more than obtaining contact information and scheduling an appointment.

Persons seeking counseling are well advised to assess their potential service provider, asking questions about qualifications, expertise and experience. Clients must be assured that the counselor has the requisite knowledge training and expertise to address the matter at hand. Whenever one places their well being into the hands of another for personal professional service, be mindful, counselors are not always helpful and even when helpful, counselors can inadvertently create iatrogenic effects. At times, both client and counselor must weigh the benefit of service against the potential for unintended negative consequences.

Counselor and client can choose more wisely and better attune the counseling process when the potential for iatrogenic effects is respected.

I am Gary Direnfeld and I am a social worker.

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Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

gary@yoursocialworker.com
http://www.yoursocialworker.com

http://www.facebook.com/GaryDirenfeldSocialWorker
http://www.linkedin.com/profile/view?id=60758978&trk=tab_pro
https://twitter.com/socialtworker

Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Dundas Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America.

If your relationship is faltering, then set it as your priority.

Read: Marriage Rescue: Overcoming ten deadly sins in failing relationships.

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Parenting Goggles and Misbehavior

Parenting goggles: Those glasses some parents wear that prevents them from seeing their children realistically, particularly when they are inappropriate.

Parenting goggles is most recognizable when paired with such phases such as, “Not my kid; Yours started it; Your kid asked for it; We don’t like you anyways, so s/he doesn’t need to apologize; It wasn’t as bad as all that; Get over it.”

Parenting goggles are often associated with children who are bullies. Parenting goggles typically precludes the parent from holding their child accountable. Further, parenting goggles are also associated with parents who have an inflated view of themselves, likely masking the parent’s own insecurities or inadequacies.

If you come across a parent wearing parenting goggles, there may be little you can do. Parenting goggles are frequently strapped tightly on and do not respond well to outside attempts at removal.

Caution is advised for those who might feel compelled to help a parent with tightly strapped parenting goggles, remove them. Attempts of removal without permission can result in an opposite and greater affect on the person attempting the unauthorized removal. In this circumstance, the person initiating the unauthorized removal can be caused to appear the aggressor.

Best strategy is to keep one’s distance from a parent wearing tightly strapped on parenting goggles and to keep your children safe from their children.

Over time though the parent wearing the parenting goggles will eventually be seen for not managing their child appropriately. Their parenting goggles will become apparent to others and under the shear weight of the realistic gaze of many others, may eventually fall off.

Time, patience and distance may be the best friends of the realistic parent coping with the parent wearing parenting goggles.

I am Gary Direnfeld and I am a social worker.

http://garydirenfeld.files.wordpress.com/2013/07/gary-feb-12.jpg?w=200&h=301

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

gary@yoursocialworker.com
http://www.yoursocialworker.com

http://www.facebook.com/GaryDirenfeldSocialWorker
http://www.linkedin.com/profile/view?id=60758978&trk=tab_pro
https://twitter.com/socialtworker

Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Dundas Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America.

If your relationship is faltering, then set it as your priority.

Read: Marriage Rescue: Overcoming ten deadly sins in failing relationships.

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Fighting Over Choice of Service Provider in Child Custody/Access Disputes

You know the file is going to be high conflict when you receive a call from one parent extolling your virtues, wanting you as service provider be it child custody/access assessor/evaluator, mediator, arbitrator or parenting coordinator and then hearing the other side is opposed to your appointment in this capacity. You also know the caller is seeking to stroke your ego in an effort to gain favor in the process.

What the caller needs to know is that such behavior on their part may cause them to look manipulative by being so ingratiating. This caller is undermining their own effort, inadvertently creating a negative impression of him/herself with this misguided strategy. This is a poor way to get the ball rolling.

If you are seeking a service provider to address your dispute regarding your children, it is typically better if your lawyer makes the referral on your behalf. When the parent calls first, then the other parent will likely be more concerned for issues of bias on the part of the service provider, contemplating what one-sided information has already been provided by the caller.

Lawyers are usually aware of these issues and hence seek to provide minimal factual information so as not to sully the referral within the initial contact. Very often the lawyers will also agree upon the information to be provided to the service provider to facilitate the referral. This is almost always the case if you choose collaboratively trained lawyers. This increases the likelihood of the parents agreeing upon the choice of service provider.

However, when parents do not agree and assuming both choices are within the range of reasonable, then I often tell the caller to choose the other person. The degree to which this choice becomes the battleground, this too can reflect poorly upon one or both parents. Better to move forward by availing oneself of the services to resolve your dispute than getting mired in new disputes along the way.

In my jurisdiction we are blessed with several competent, well regarded service providers, all of whom provide a range of services for separated parents in conflict over the care of their children.

At the end of the day, your children need to be freed from the parental conflict. Think of your children and look to resolve matters, not get hung up creating new ones. Given that parental conflict alone is the most potent predictor for your children’s psycho-social outcome, avoiding this battle is already in their favor. That matters most.

I am Gary Direnfeld and I am a social worker.

http://garydirenfeld.files.wordpress.com/2013/07/gary-feb-12.jpg?w=200&h=301

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

gary@yoursocialworker.com
http://www.yoursocialworker.com

http://www.facebook.com/GaryDirenfeldSocialWorker
http://www.linkedin.com/profile/view?id=60758978&trk=tab_pro
https://twitter.com/socialtworker

Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Dundas Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America.

If your relationship is faltering, then set it as your priority.

Read: Marriage Rescue: Overcoming ten deadly sins in failing relationships.

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First comes love, then comes marriage…

Many couples come to counseling in crisis with their relationship or marriage at risk. They have little or no understanding of the issues or concerns of the other and even less appreciation of each others point of view. The infatuation, mistaken as “true love”, has expired in the demands of daily living.

Quite often and upon exploration, it becomes clear that couples have missed a step or two in the mating process. They forgot to become friends and/or they forgot to court.

Dating at any age is the involvement with another for personal fun, pleasure or gratification. With any luck, the involvement provides for mutuality of experience but this is not necessarily an objective. Given the sexual mores of the day, the intent of dating often includes sexual enticement or gratification. Luck features prominently in dating because until together, the couple knows little of each other and hence the outcome is uncertain. This is the nature of dating. During the dating process, the parties tend to present themselves in their best light, hiding any blemishes, physically or personally, that might otherwise undermine the pursuit of fun, pleasure or gratification. The trouble is that some persons mistake the dating behavior as indicative of the party’s true self and rush to engagement or marriage without taking other crucial steps in the coupling process.

Friendship goes beyond dating and is indicative of knowing, liking and trusting a person. In getting to know a person and developing a friendship, a truer and deeper appreciation of personality and traits are gained. We rely on our friendships for mutual support, encouragement, and entertainment. While dating is directed at personal fun, pleasure or gratification, friendship provides for mutual benefit at neither party’s expense. It takes experience with a person to learn whether or not there is a shared sense of mutual responsibility to the friendship – reciprocity of mutual support and caring. Given that this is discovered to be the case, persons can explore the next stage in the coupling process.

Courtship takes friendship to a new level. In courtship, the parties signal an exclusivity of the relationship with the intent of exploring the potential for lifelong bonding or cohabitation. Courtship is therefore much more serious than friendship and requires that the participants take the time to learn fully, all the blemishes, physical and otherwise that their potential life partner possesses. This is where couples must truly get to know each other in all aspects of life; psychological, behavioral, familial, social, vocational, etc. When we take on a partner, we take on all their significant relationships too. In getting to know each other in all aspects of life, the purpose of courting then becomes to answer the question, “Can I live with this person…and family… forever?”

Relationships are best taken on as they are and not as an investment. Whereas we generally try to limit our risk when investing money, similarly we should limit our risk when taking on relationships. This is not to say we do not partner with someone who has issues or problems, but rather, they must be in plain view, they must be discussed and there must be an agreed upon plan in place for management. You must decide what you can and cannot live with. Courting is the time to figure this out.

With friendship then courtship undertaken and resolved, persons are ready for the next stage; engagement. Engagement is the promise to marry. This is not meant as experimentation or learning, but to provide time for the preparation of a commitment process to lifelong bonding and exclusive cohabitation.

Play your cards right and follow these steps and you will reduce the likelihood of winding up in the therapist’s office. And wouldn’t that be just lovely!

I am Gary Direnfeld and I am a social worker.

http://garydirenfeld.files.wordpress.com/2013/07/gary-feb-12.jpg?w=200&h=301

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

 

gary@yoursocialworker.com
http://www.yoursocialworker.com

http://www.facebook.com/GaryDirenfeldSocialWorker
http://www.linkedin.com/profile/view?id=60758978&trk=tab_pro
https://twitter.com/socialtworker

Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Dundas Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America.

If your relationship is faltering, then set it as your priority.

Read: Marriage Rescue: Overcoming ten deadly sins in failing relationships.

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Will Your Kids Be Of “Good Character”?

At some point most parents think about the kind of person their child will grow up to be. This is different from what they may do for a living. This involves issues of integrity, honesty and caring for others. Will your child grow up to be of good character?

The answer to the question can be determined by examining parental behavior from very early on. As parents nurture their children and act in their presence, they provide powerful lessons that will set the tone for what kind of adults their children will turn out to be.

Two key ingredients can go a long way to developing your child to be of good character:

1) Helping them to take responsibility for their actions;

2) Helping them to participate in doing good deeds.

When two-year-old Jacob spills his juice, the parent has several choices in how to respond. Jacob can be scolded; ignored; helped to clean up the mess or the parent can clean it up alone. Each response carries its own message to Jacob. Scolding is upsetting in itself and teaches Jacob to avoid getting caught. Ignoring suggests the spilled juice doesn’t matter and the behavior can be repeated. The parent cleaning up for Jacob suggests Jacob has no responsibility what-so-ever for his actions and thus he can do as he pleases. Finally, the parent engaging Jacob in the cleaning process without scolding suggests there is a natural consequence to behaviour and he must assume some responsibility for restoring or repairing the situation.

When Jacob is four-years-of-age and he aggressively takes a toy from another child, again the parent has choices in how to respond. However, if the parent explains to Jacob how he hurt the other child’s feelings, has him apologize, return the toy and then negotiate sharing, Jacob learns the impact of his behavior on others, restitution and then negotiation.

Based upon these experiences, when six-year-old Jacob breaks a window playing ball, you have increased the likelihood that Jacob will return to you on his own to report the accident and seek your help to clean the mess and correct the situation. He will have learned that you are caring, reasonable and responsible and he will be following the behavior you modeled and taught him. He will act less with a concern of punishment and fear and more with a concern for caring and responsibility.

To further their children’s good character, parents are advised to encourage their children to join them in practicing “good deeds”. A good deed is when someone does something for someone else without being asked or without expecting anything in return. We teach children about good deeds by their observing our good deeds. We also teach about good deeds when we ask our children to help out, with only providing our thanks in return. Our thanks can of course include expressions of affection!

Through good deeds, children learn that the world doesn’t just revolve around them, but includes other who may benefit from our help. At first the reward may come from our praise, but as the child ages, they learn to derive satisfaction themselves from helping others. Children can help clear the table, help the neighbour with the yard, share a toy and join us when we do our volunteer work.

Being of good character doesn’t need to happen by chance. Parental behaviour that encourages children to take responsibility for their actions, correct situations and practice good deeds can go a long way to assuring kids grow up to be of good character.

I am Gary Direnfeld and I am a social worker.

http://garydirenfeld.files.wordpress.com/2013/07/gary-feb-12.jpg?w=200&h=301

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

 

gary@yoursocialworker.com
http://www.yoursocialworker.com

http://www.facebook.com/GaryDirenfeldSocialWorker
http://www.linkedin.com/profile/view?id=60758978&trk=tab_pro
https://twitter.com/socialtworker

Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Dundas Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America.

If your relationship is faltering, then set it as your priority.

Read: Marriage Rescue: Overcoming ten deadly sins in failing relationships.

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Your Feelings May Betray You.

Many people enter into therapy advising of a whole host of feelings. Then on the basis of those feelings, they rationalize their behavior. For some of these people, having a feeling creates a sense of entitlement and excuses inappropriate behavior.

“I deserve xyz” is a common refrain, as is “I felt like it”, or even “I was angry at the time”; or simply, “that is what I felt”… therefore it legitimizes whatever I have done.

In these circumstances, we speak of poor judgement. What is meant by this is when we allow a feeling to dictate or legitimize behavior where the behavior hasn’t been thought through and in particular when the behavior, on the basis of that feeling creates further distress for self or another.

Unfortunately some people’s feelings actually betray them. Their feelings may be disproportionate to a triggering event; their feelings may be based on a misperception of the triggering event; or in the case of some people, their feelings may not be of a sufficient intensity to appropriately register and respond to the triggering event.

Past traumatic experiences such as exposure to violent events (childhood or otherwise, intra or extra-familial), shock, neglect, family dysfunction, parental alcoholism, are all known to skew feelings.

The person subject to those kind of events may have a heightened sensitivity or alternately be desensitized such that when feelings occur, the feeling may not be truly representative of the experience. Hence, people may overreact, under-react and even inappropriately react. Interestingly, this is true even of persons who do not recognize themselves to have been subject to traumatic events, yet have been.

The role of therapy is to help put past events into a more realistic perspective and understand the role of those events on how we feel and then by extension, how we behave. By understanding the connection between past events affecting feelings upon present experiences, the person can then think about the feelings and more realistically appraise the current situation before responding. This is really what is meant by seeking good or better judgement.

If you find yourself in ongoing conflict with others, where your actions are accused as contributory, you may want to explore your feelings and where they come from with the view to determining if your feelings are betraying you in any manner. Thereafter if your feelings are betraying you, you can learn more cognitive strategies for reappraising your feelings and determining an appropriate course of action.

I am Gary Direnfeld and I am a social worker.

http://garydirenfeld.files.wordpress.com/2013/07/gary-feb-12.jpg?w=200&h=301

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

(905) 628-4847

gary@yoursocialworker.com
http://www.yoursocialworker.com

http://www.facebook.com/GaryDirenfeldSocialWorker
http://www.linkedin.com/profile/view?id=60758978&trk=tab_pro
https://twitter.com/socialtworker

Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Dundas Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America.

If your relationship is faltering, then set it as your priority.

Read: Marriage Rescue: Overcoming ten deadly sins in failing relationships.

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In Lieu of Court and Hardball Litigators

If you are separating or divorcing, there are good reasons you don’t want to go to court and why you want to avoid hardball, winner take all litigators.

The reason to stay away from court is to avoid the win/lose mentally of settling a case. The reason you want to stay away from the win/lose outcome is because in the end, very often both parties subject to the litigation wind up losing. The question is, how can that be?

It goes like this.

When you go to court and put your life into the hands of a third party who makes decisions over your life, you can rest assured that the decision, good or bad, will not be as well crafted as you may craft yourself because that person will never have all the intimate details of your life.

The other and perhaps the more important reason why so many court imposed outcomes fail, is that no one likes being the loser. No one likes holding the “dirty” end of the stick.

While you may be thrilled to have won, consider the psychology of the other. That person is likely to feel hard done by and resentful. How well does someone who feels resentful follow rules to which they are opposed?

Resentment begs revenge and the nature of the revenge is to undo whatever was imposed against their favor. That means that the “winner” now has a huge target painted on their back and the “loser” is seeking to take them down to re-right their view of an imposed wrong.

You may not even see your opponent coming as revenge can go underground and come back in passive aggressive strategies or subtle and sometimes not so subtle strategies of undermining behavior.

Winner/Loser? Now both have lost as you are embroiled in an ongoing battle of undoing perceived injustices. This is hardly ever a favorable outcome.

Keep the lawyers from being central as they too, fighting on your behalf are more often at tremendous risk of only ratcheting up your conflict. Sadly enough, this occurs amidst the conflict of interest where your intensifying conflict is directly related to their financial gain.

Instead of the folly of litigation, Court imposed outcomes and lawyer assisted or directed negotiation, consider those strategies that facilitate negotiation between the opposing parties themselves.

Those strategies include collaborative law and mediation.

At least in collaborative law, while you have tremendous lawyer support, the parties subject to the dispute are central to the process and always present in every negotiation. In other words, you remain in control throughout, although assisted and guided by your lawyers.

In mediation, you get to work with a single neutral facilitator to help you craft your agreement. Bear in mind, the mediator will be neutral with respect to the final outcome of your agreement. However the mediator will not be neutral with regard to respect and safety. There the mediator will seek to facilitate a safe and courteous environment within which to carry out your work. In so doing, the mediator very often also serves as coach to help improve separating couples communicate more effectively between themselves. This is very useful for maintaining that ongoing relationship as co-parents.

While your collaborative lawyers are expert at law, you can chose a mediator with expertise directly related to your area of dispute so that the mediator can provide information and guidance to help achieve an agreement consistent with your needs, interests and the well being of your children.

In the end, it is not just the agreement that is reached, but the likelihood of the parties honoring the agreement over the passage of time. It may be more advantageous to craft a less than perfect agreement to which both persons buy into and to which both can maintain, than an agreement that suits primarily one that will likely crash and burn anyways.

Statistically, more than 95% of most matters settle prior to a trial, so why not spend your time and less money by going directly to those strategies that avoid court and the escalation of conflict?

You still want your lawyer, chose collaboratively trained lawyers and enter a collaborative law process. Want to preserve greater costs and be the most central figures in your settlement, chose mediation.

Want a lawsuit that will cost countless thousands of dollars and take years to settle chose litigious lawyers and go to court.

Not sure when you really may need to litigate? Consider domestic violence, serious mental health issues or criminal behavior. In the absence of those issues, and indeed often even in the presence of those issues, the alternative strategies might very well still be your preferred strategies.

This Judgement by Justice Pazaratz really sums up these issues.

I am Gary Direnfeld and I am a social worker.

http://garydirenfeld.files.wordpress.com/2013/07/gary-feb-12.jpg?w=200&h=301

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

(905) 628-4847

gary@yoursocialworker.com
http://www.yoursocialworker.com

http://www.facebook.com/GaryDirenfeldSocialWorker
http://www.linkedin.com/profile/view?id=60758978&trk=tab_pro
https://twitter.com/socialtworker

Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Dundas Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America.

If your relationship is faltering, then set it as your priority.

Read: Marriage Rescue: Overcoming ten deadly sins in failing relationships.

Amazon US

Amazon Canada

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